Sunday, 13 May 2012
Acrylic on canvas, 2011, 12" x 9.5".
I painted this at a time of much confusion. I had recently started on a medication and my world was falling apart. Everything I had known and been so clear of before was becoming uncertainty, and it was very disconcerting. I could go as far as saying that I felt like I was losing touch with reality.
It was about 6 months later that I finally felt I could stay where I was. But that part of the journey was a very rocky road.
Still if I have a flare up of symptoms, which seems to always happen when I get too stressed, I go through the confusion stage as things start to calm down. But for some reason, I find it a lot more difficult and disconcerting to come out of an episode than to go into one. There is a relief when I enter a delusion, sort of 'I have finally figured it out', that never is repeated on the way back to so called reality. And that is annoying.