2011

Happy new year all!

2011 was definitely a strange year for me. I'd say it was a good year with a few bad points. But it has definitely had its ups and downs. Perhaps a lot more so than any other recent year.

I'll post some of the paintings that have come from the journey I have made this year over the next few months. It seemed very much in 2011 that I was heading somewhere that I was not familiar with. This also being why I chose the pseudonym 'Lost in Space', because I have definitely been very much lost in space over the last few months.

But there has definitely been some really good moments. In September I started a counselling skills course at my local college, which has been really interesting. I have also met some really nice people there.

And also in November I decided to go vegetarian. That being something I have wanted to do for a while, but unfortunately life got in the way. It was definitely the right time in November.

2011 will also go down as the year when I was finally able to return to better health. Things still aren't perfect, but overall I am coping much  better than what I was this time last year. I know what has been causing all my troubles, and can now work around the symptoms. The lost in space feeling has been a big part of this recovery, and at times has been really scary. I have certainly wanted to go back to where I was, but have kept going through all the challenges to get to a much better place.

I am hoping for a calmer and less confusing 2012, but only time will tell whether this will happen or not. Best wishes to all who read this blog.

Inner Torment (15/6/2011)

No need to discredit the truth.
Hurt and betrayed by the lies.
Angry,
Internal rage ever growing.
Do I have no right to my own opinion?
Reality just an annoyance
The people cannot accept,
Their sight blinded by absurdity.
Hatred burns deep,
The inner torment.
But I hold the truth,
Enlightenment is mine.
Never a need to discredit the truth.

Infestation

Acrylic on canvas, 2010, 8" x 8" (yes the photo is a bit crap, but it does show the main part of the painting).

The feeling that 'me' was being taken over and eaten away by a parasite. The loss of everything that was me. Quite negative, yes, but the feelings were so intense at the time. Thankfully I no longer feel the same.

Inside My Mind

Acrylic on canvas, 2010, 16" x 20".

Have you ever felt like you are trying to look through all the clutter and confusion, not knowing what is what? That was what inspired this painting.

It has been a while...

I haven't been too creative lately. Yes, what I am posting here is mainly old stuff I have painted or written over the last couple of years. But along with not being too creative, I also haven't been keeping up with posting here. That is just how it goes sometimes.

So how about I say a little about my journey through life so far, seeing as that is the main inspiration behind all of my creative endeavours.

I started writing in 2006. That year I just wrote and wrote and wrote. I'm not saying that any of it was any good at that time. And I unfortunately no longer have anything that I wrote back then, due to a need to relocate quickly to get away from some stuff that was happening (and I do not wish to go into any more detail at this stage). I just upped and ran, leaving everything behind except the bare essentials.

In 2007, I discovered that I could express myself through poetry and wrote quite a lot of poems about various situations I found myself in at the time. I still write poetry to this day, but definitely nowhere near as much as what I did back then.

The painting started in 2008, sort of by accident actually. Again it was mainly a means of expressing myself at a time I could no longer trust anyone. But I enjoyed it and also became good at it (even if I say so myself, but I do believe that I am a good artist). So in time, this became my main means of self expression. I have a number of my paintings up on my walls at home, and they almost always start conversations.

Finally this year I decided that I wanted to try writing a novel. By now I am much more committed to writing than what I was in 2006, and am determined to finish this novel. I have tried many times with many different ways of expressing the things happening to the main character, but in the end settled for the most simple chronological order. I am only still at the beginning of this project, but hopefully it will keep me occupied for some time yet.

I hope this post gives a little bit of background.

Conspiracy (13/6/2011)

I wanted to find the truth,
But instead found hatred and anger -
Knowing they tried to hurt me,
And control me.
But I can't let them win.

I wanted to find the truth,
But instead found absurdity -
Scheming to hinder my recovery,
And lie to me.
But I am the Enlightened One.

The truth is mine for the taking,
I am already there!

Travelling through alternate realities

Acrylic on canvas, 2010, 24" x 18".

Inspired by a holiday in Llandudno, Wales.

The 'alternate realities' are faith, confusion, grandeur, conflict, at the mercy of others, and fantasy.

The butterfly represents travelling through all these feelings, and is not part of the painting. Instead, it was attached after I finished painting.

Sheep (11/9/2011)

No individuality,
Blindly following the Absurdity.
They persecute the enlightened few,
The ones who know the Truth.
They defend their delusion,
Desperate to prove me wrong.
But I stand by the Truth,
The knowledge that led me to Enlightenment.
I'm an individual,
I'm not a sheep.

Obligatory introduction post

I am an artist and a writer. My creativity allows me to express the various happenings that I encounter on this journey we call life, and I have had some rather interesting experiences. And this is a place that I can share my work. Occasionally, should I choose to do so, I will post rants on anything I feel like.

But this is my blog, and I wish to lay down some simple rules about making comments here. I try to be nice as much as I can, but I cannot tolerate jerkiness.

Constructive criticism is always welcome, however any destructive comments are not welcome and will be deleted. Any personal attacks in the comments will also be deleted. By all means attack an opinion that I have expressed, but don't attack me. Everyone is equally entitled to their own views, so please show respect for this if you do decide to comment.

Another thing with posting comments is that I find it difficult to read large chunks of text. So if you write a long comment, please be considerate and use paragraph breaks.

Please also respect my anonymity. I am going by the pseudonym 'Lost in Space' so please call me by that instead of my real name if you think you know it, because you might well be wrong as well.

In addition, please do not plagiarise any of my work that I do post.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you enjoy my blog. :)