Saturday, 28 July 2012

Who is watching?

So it has been a while since I have posted anything, but here's a painting.

Acrylic in canvas, 2010, 8" x 8".

Apologies for the wonkiness of the photo. This person could be anyone, and was never intended to be somebody specific. They represent the feeling of always being watched, a feeling I lived with for a long time in different ways. I still sometimes feel this way, but definitely to a much lesser extent that I did at the time of painting this in early 2010.

Friday, 13 July 2012

My first blogging award

Thanking Gary over at Klahanie.

I know it has been a few days since actually receiving the award, but I have had a lot of trouble gathering my thoughts lately (probably resulting from a combination of poor quality sleep and a recent increase in the medication I take for my psychosis and anxiety). But fingers crossed I feel a little better now, so here goes.

Now I don't know of 7 blogs I can pass this award on to, but apparently that is ok. Though I will attempt to come up with 7 interesting facts about myself, just for fun (as these are the things that it is suggested we do when receiving this award).

So 7 (probably not so) interesting things about me are:-

1. I have been painting since 2008, and my paintings have always been expressions of my feelings that I have often struggled to get out in other ways. My early paintings were mostly black and red, to express depression. Maybe one day I will post one so you can see the difference between my earlier paintings and my more recent paintings?

2. Listening to music always makes me feel better. My favourite genre is rock. Music is also a very important coping strategy for me, and also very useful in distracting me enough that I don't respond to the voices.

3. I am currently working on a novel. I don't expect that it will be finished any time soon. I don't want to give away too much too soon, but I will say it will be a horror novel (hopefully, if I write it well enough!).

4. If I could change one thing about me, I would hope to have more confidence in my talent for art. I struggle to see what others see in my paintings, but I wish I could.

5. When I get my health back, I hope to be an art therapist. That way I can use my passion to help others who have been through similar to me.

6. Similarly to my painting, my poetry is mostly a means of self expression. Even if I try to write about something that has nothing to do with me, I still put aspects of how I am feeling or an experience I have had in the poem.

7. This has taken me about half an hour to write this list. It probably would have taken much longer earlier in the week.

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Lost sleep, lost thoughts (8/7/2012)

I want 'me' back.
Is that too much to ask?
This inability to think clearly
Is getting me down so much.
Insomnia sucks.
I don't usually get this kind,
The one where you can't stay asleep.
Broken sleep from 6am,
But I am a night owl.
Is this what is causing my other troubles,
The thoughts that don't even come?
Insomnia definitely sucks.
I hope I sleep alright tonight.