Acrylic on canvas, 2010, 15" x 8".
This painting is inspired in part by Salvador Dali's 'The Persistence of Memory' (1931). I have always loved Dali's work and surrealism is a style that I often feel inspired by, especially when trying to express past delusions through art.
Back in 2006 when I first got ill I used to believe that I could control time with only the power of my thoughts. For a couple of months I didn't know it but I was slowly running myself into the ground. It was good at the time and very useful to be able to control time, especially when it came to completing my assignments (I was a student at the time). But it all had to come to an end when I had no more energy. I came crashing down into a pretty bad depression, hence the black thought cloud. It wasn't until shortly before painting this that I had made that connection. Never again did I have a 'positive' delusion, but instead only paranoia. Though looking back from where I am now I realise that there was nothing positive about running myself into the ground in this way.
There is no significance in it being 2:30.
My good friend,
ReplyDeleteAnd may I say a timely lesson, if you will pardon the pun. As you know, the pressure we put ourselves under can eventually catch up with us. It's better, if possible, to work things through in realistic workable segments. And time depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on :)
Keep embracing the positivity. I'm very proud of you.
Your friend,
Gary
Thank you for your kind words, Gary.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely these days I see the importance of taking things one day at a time and not overloading myself as seemed a good idea back in 2006. I hope I don't find myself in the similar situation again.
I agree that time does depend on what side of the bathroom door we are on.
"The Persistence in Memory"... Dali's way of saying it doesn't go away with the passage of time? Just for me, but I always saw Dali's painting as a protest of memories that spanned too much of his time. Oh sure, I could be wrong, but apples and oranges... I like both.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw your painting I thought it had a cape like a superhero. (Don't laugh.) Trying to battle a superhero is a tough thing, when you're me. I'm content to hang out under the wings... in the shadows, taking a break from the warm sun or cold winds.
Battling/controlling time is time consuming. I really had to let go of that notion too. Maybe I can relate some to what you've written.
I know I like your painting even though I saw something different for myself, in it. Well, that's about it. Oh, but 2:30 in the afternoon is usually my nap time. I'm not letting go of that.
Enjoyed your post and painting; thank you for sharing your experience! Dixie
Thank you for your kind words, Dixie.
ReplyDeleteOf course how you see my painting is entirely up to you. One of the good things about art is that everyone sees something different in it.
I like your image of the superhero. To me that shares things in common with the time I was trying to represent here, and the difficulties I was facing.
And don't let go of that nap time if it does you good! We all need something just for ourselves in the day.
I am not a big fan of Dali but...your drawing is very touching. The fact that you fight your problem with all you instruments...art, writing...makes me truly believe that you will be a victor sooner or later...Just believe in your endless powers...because you are magical...I don't even know if you are a man or a woman, you are very mysterious....the beautiful hand in the picture seems to be a woman's so I am inclined to believe so :)>. If I am wrong forgive me :)....
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Unikorna.
ReplyDeleteI do my best to fight the problems life throws at me with whatever I can use. I feel more positive about life when I can paint or write or whatever else I choose to do on that day, sort of turning the shit into something that has meaning and beauty and can be appreciated by others.
I am a woman, and that hand in my profile pic is mine. You guessed rightly. I have reasons for keeping anonymous.